Questions That Are Cluttering My Heart and Mind...

What or who is a friend?  Who do you consider your friend or friends?  Why do you consider a person or people friends?  How should a friend treat you?  How should they not treat you?  How do you treat a friend?  How should you treat a friend?  How do our assumptions and expectations play into how we perceive a friendship or how we operate within that friendship? 

These are all just things that have been running through my mind lately.  I may not go into why, but I just need to free my mind a bit here.  I'm now in a dating relationship.  This is an awesome and wonderful thing, but sometimes I wonder just why it seems that when you get into a dating relationship, that other friendships seem to fade or dissipate all together.  I know in my past, that I have been a big reason as to why some friendships have changed, but this relationship is different.  This relationship is free and easygoing with no hesitations to just be myself within it.  I can speak the same for Tricia, my girlfriend.  I guess I just wonder why it is that some friendships go from a place of hugs, handshakes, and genuine down to earth conversation suddenly come to a place of awkwardness and sometimes silence. 

I have spent a good bit of time with girlfriend.  We have spent time getting to know each other better and have been establishing what I see as a really good relationship founded and centered in Christ.  No, we're not perfect, who is, but we both want our relationship to be centered in Him and with that we want to continue our friendships that we've always had, it is very important to both of us.  Granted, I understand that some time spent with her more often sometimes leads to others maybe thinking that we've moved on, or we're not interested in doing things that Single folks do, but the funny thing about it all is that we are still single.  Plain and simple.  And we love spending time with our friends, me with hers and her with mine.  She has come to get to know several of my friends as I have with her friends and it has seemed to work out very well in many situations, however, there is the puzzling thing to me that some friends of mine, those whom I really thought would embrace her, and want to get to know her, have not really tried to hardly talk to her.  I say all this as sensitively as I can, because I really don't want to offend anyone, but then I guess on the other hand, maybe it could all just be in my mind.  Maybe it could all just be my fault; maybe it could be just what's supposed to happen, but for some reason I just can't help but think it shouldn't. 

Honestly, it just hurts.  And it disappoints me.  I know I should not have expectations, but then I wonder how unhealthy my expectations really are in this matter?  I see the same thing happening to others, and some of them not even connected to the same realm of friends.  It kind of reminds me of something even I've been guilty of in the past when some of my friends have gotten married over the years.  I remember being hesitant to call them, or thought they were probably busy doing married or couple things and wouldn't have time or desire to spend time with a single person, like I would be a third wheel or something...  that's all just a bunch of bunk if you ask me and I think it just has to be said. 

Don't misunderstand any of this.  I'm not having a pity party here, far from it really.  I'm just curious what is going on?  I wonder what is misunderstood, heck I wonder what I'm misunderstanding?  If you're reading this and you go to assume that I'm speaking about you, well, don't assume.  This is not something that is being addressed to a particular person or group of people, I'm just asking a question.  I'm just looking for answers.  With wisdom comes understanding, and hence freedom and grace.  I'm just searching, that's all, so please forgive me if I have offended, it has not been my intention.  Feel free to respond, actually I encourage you to and be anonymous if you want, regardless I'd love some feedback. 

Yes, In fact it was...

the best birthday I've ever had.  Yeah, been awhile since I've made a post, and I would love to sit down and just type out everything that I've been doing and thinking about over the last month or so, and maybe I will, but wanted to at least update my most previous post about my birthday.

Where do I start?  It seemed to of lasted for over a week, which was awesome!  Tricia did an awesome job of remembering all kinds of things about me and what I like, which is very special and shows how much she listens to me, even when I ramble.  I guess we'll just start on Friday night before my birthday.  She had arranged for many of my closest friends to go to dinner at Cocina Superior.  It was awesome, and I am so thankful for all those that were able to be there.  It was really special to me.  Most of all, it was just really great being surrounded by whom I think are my very closest friends, my girlfriend, while enjoying great food and conversation all at one time.  Afterwards a few of us went up to the wine loft and hung out for awhile.  It was an overall relaxing but very fun evening.

Saturday, Tricia and I just had a spontaneous day.  Nothing planned, no agenda, just went out and had breakfast, did a little shopping and looking around and just enjoyed the day together.  This is one of our favorite things to do, not much to it, which is great and really emphasizes the time we spend together, continuing to get to know each other better, learning the likes and dislikes, and honestly having a great time all along the way.  It is amazing to me how much we laugh together.  It is freeing and fun.  Anyway, pressing on to the evening...

Tricia had asked me to make myself busy for a few hours while she got things ready for Saturday night...what was she up to?  I really had no idea, but it was more incredible that I ever could have imagined.   I went and ran some errands around town and really just wasted some time to give her time to do what she needed to do.  She finally called me a few hours later and told me to come on over.  As I pulled in the drive she stopped me almost at the end of her driveway, weird I thought, but I knew I needed to just go with it.
She told me to close my eyes while she led me down the driveway and through her carport to the back patio of her home.  As I opened my eyes, I was amazed to see all that she had done to prepare for my birthday.  It was something like out of a movie or something.  Here is a pic just to give you an idea...

Candle votives everywhere, and I mean everywhere, she had between 35 and 40 set up around the patio and it was beautiful.  Over on the table, she had a stunning arrangement set up for dinner, with candles and flowers set up perfectly.  I noticed little strings hanging down from the beams above, each with little tags tied to the ends.  On each was written something that Tricia loves about me.  There were 34 of them hanging all around.  It was amazing because of one, how it actually added to the overall look, and two, because of all the time I know she took to prepare all of this stuff.  She later gave me three additional tags with very special messages written on them to tell me about how she felt about me.  A total of 37 tags for each year I've been alive and to symbolize my 37th birthday.  You can see the tags hanging down in this picture...

Dinner was very special, incredible lasagna from scratch with great garlic toast to go along with it.  She put the finishing touches on this perfect dinner with a glass of our favorite wine.  The evening was amazing.  Just sitting and talking, laughing and enjoying each other.  Tricia is so thoughtful and so sweet.  Always wanting to serve and do for me, much more than I ever deserve, that's for sure.  She gives great gifts too!  Another place where I could see clearly just how much she listens to me and makes little mental notes along the way.

So yes, yes it was the best birthday ever!  Thank you Tricia for this incredible series of events marking the beginning of another year of my life.  Thanks to all my friends who have been there along the way.  You have all made an impact in one way or another, whether you realize it or not.  I appreciate you all, and am greatful for all those special people in my life.  Yea, this is sappy, but who cares?  It's my blog and I can be as sappy as I want with it.

Surprises, I love them!

We get surprised when we least expect something to happen. It is a natural thing and sometimes we love those surprises and sometimes they can be difficult. The other day, my girlfriend Tricia returned from her business trip to Pensacola. When I came over to her house to see her, she said that she had a surprise waiting for me. I was like, what in the world could it be and what for? I guess there really doesn't have to be a reason to get a surprise from someone else but she told me that with my birthday coming up soon, and that it was time to get it started now. I was like, what? Now, my birthday's not for another week or so, and she said very sweetly, well you don't celebrate your birthday just for one day but also for days leading up to it. I was like, well, this is all right! Anyway, the surprise was a fried peach pie from Peach Park in Clanton. She had stopped and gotten 3 of them for me. This was awesome! I love those pies and I had no idea that Peach Park was still open. Funny thing was that I was going to ask her to stop and get some but then thought they would not be open so I didn't bother to ask. Surprise! It's sometimes the simple things in life that make me happy, but more importantly was the fact that she thought of me while on her way back and stopped to get them! This was huge to me and I appreciated her so much! Anyway, I don't know why I wanted to share that but just did. I think this might be the best birthday ever...guess we'll find out soon.

A New Season...

   Today is the first official day of Fall.  A time for new discoveries, new beginnings, and new revelation by God's gracious love.  I am excited about this Fall, as I plan to finish up on a few long blog posts I started previously; start blogging about a new book I'm beginning to read, and discovering more about God's direction for my life and His purpose.  I'm also challenging myself to find a new and more fitting look for my blog.  I've got one in mind but I am still working on getting it formatted.

    A new year usually begins for most on January 1st, but for me Fall is a time of renewal and rejuvenation usually with a lot of self-discovery.  I pray that God will set my path and set my pace as I look to Him for wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.  As I seek Him to know His will for my life; to learn more about how He desires for me to servant-lead in Life Group, Homeless ministry, my relationship with Tricia, and hopefully how I may become involved with OMPC's Missions Committee.  I pray also that God will lead me in becoming a better steward of His gifts; that He will instruct me by the way of His Word in realigning my budget and finances to more efficiently work towards being debt free. 

    Today is a new beginning and while I forsee many challenges along the way, I set forth my hope and my faith in Christ as He leads me; without retreat, without reservation, and without regret!  God, give me Your strength, passion, and patience - for without You, oh Lord I have none.

Ughhhh...why can't I just get it?

I am a selfish person. I don't easily admit this, but I am. It's just a fact. Some people may never see it, but the fact remains that I tend to want to have things go my way, in my timing, and on my terms, and with people I want to be included. Therefore this makes it difficult for me at times when an email or announcement is made where there are needs expressed that in some way or another infringe on my schedule, or rather maybe, my agenda. I wonder how many others struggle with this, or even realize it’s something they struggle with at all?


I find myself convicted of this today, because of my own judgment of others in this area. I was thinking over a situation going on in my life right now where I have had to put an announcement out asking for folks to help with an assortment of task, thinking or rather “expecting” a significant or maybe overwhelming response. I was wrong.

Not wrong because the response I expected didn’t come in, but wrong to expect period. Wrong to judge others and wrong to not consider what all other things that could be playing a role in someone not responding. I am not disappointed in the lack of response, it is what it is and that can’t be helped, but I am thankful that it has helped me to see a little more about myself and my own sin; My own sin of trying to take control of a situation and not simply leave it in God’s hands to handle. It’s amazing how I continue “to go back, over and over, like a dog to it’s own vomit” to just find out that “I” can’t do it anyway, and reminded that, my Lord above always does.

Maybe one day I’ll get it. I guess for now, I’m thankful that I have a God who loves me and forgives me in spite of the stupid things I think or sometimes do; a God who carries me when times are hard and a God that moves me when I need to be moved.

Thank You Lord, for Your unconditional love.

Seeking Him to Find Her

Last Sunday an interesting thing happened.  I went with my girlfriend to the office so she could pickup some things that she needed for a business trip this past week.  While we were there I was looking around the cubicle outside of her office.  This used to be her cubicle prior to moving into her office.  She still has some things of her own in that cubicle as that cube is no longer needed.

When I was looking around, I almost missed it, but for some reason I noticed a note card pinned to the wall that had a very interesting quote on it.  Here is exactly what it said:

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."

My heart skipped for a second as I thought about what it said and how it portrayed an exact picture of how she and I came to be.  Some know the story and some do not.  I am currently working on a special blog entry that I will post hopefully soon, but to hit it on a glimpse...It is a story of two people who wanted to be with each other but due to work that had yet been done in each of their lives by God's sovereign  power, they had to be obedient by refusing their own personal wants and desires.  Neither of us knew what the future held but we each trusted God to be our all.  A couple of scripture verses that come to mind that I think relates to this very well:

"Seek the Lord while He may be found;

call upon him while He is near;..."

..."For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways My ways declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are My ways higher than your ways

and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55: 6, and 8-9

We waited on God, we trusted, and we obeyed so that He could do what was needed to prepare each of us for the other until His timing was right.  Now, approximately 6 months later we are together and we both know it is only by God's faithful love and devine providence.

I am thankful to God for all that He did in my heart and in hers over the last several months.  I pray that as she and I go forward, that God will remain in the center, that He will guide our every step, as individuals and together, I pray that we both will continue to be obedient to what His will is for our lives.  As we go forward  we both love a particular scripture in Proverbs that we both rely on very often and want to share with you...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths."  

Proverbs 3:5-6

Now go and seize the day and remember this; When there are no retreats, and no reserves, there are no regrets!

Just wanted to share this...

Each month I participate in a ministry with my singles group at church to go and feed the homeless downtown at Linn Park while also just taking time to hang out and love on them as well. As of about 4 months ago, I was asked to take the lead on this ministry in regards to our group with coordinating and handling all the details, so each month I ask God to give me something to write out and present to our singles group that would encourage participation and involvement in this awesome ministry. Yesterday, sitting in Sunday School, it kind of all took over my mind and here is what came of it...

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to bring the good news to the poor..."

(Isaiah 61:1)

What does this look like?

You may think you need to go and just outright share the gospel with a random homeless person by reading this, but there really is more to it than that.

Just being real with others whether homeless or not is in itself one of the most insightful and compelling examples of the gospel at work in our lives. The personal investment of our lives into the lives of others is in itself what Jesus love, grace, and acceptance is all about.

Can you be real? Can you let your mask down long enough to allow someone a real glimpse into your own life? To see you as your really are, a sinner, one that falls often, one that isn't perfect, one that doesn't have it all together and THEN reveal that God's love, grace, and mercy has NOTHING to do with how or when you stumble and fall but, ALL to do with the sacrifice of Christ - His gift of grace - that has already been done - already completed - FINISHED!

His Grace is Our Freedom!

So...will you come? Come to "bring the good news to the poor" next Friday, August 8th at Linn Park in downtown?

Please lift this event up in prayer as that day draws near and if you are lead, please join us that day as we come together to provide our homeless friends with hot meal, some love, and most importantly, "the good news"!

Sincerely In Christ,