What or who is a friend? Who do you consider your friend or friends? Why do you consider a person or people friends? How should a friend treat you? How should they not treat you? How do you treat a friend? How should you treat a friend? How do our assumptions and expectations play into how we perceive a friendship or how we operate within that friendship?
These are all just things that have been running through my mind lately. I may not go into why, but I just need to free my mind a bit here. I'm now in a dating relationship. This is an awesome and wonderful thing, but sometimes I wonder just why it seems that when you get into a dating relationship, that other friendships seem to fade or dissipate all together. I know in my past, that I have been a big reason as to why some friendships have changed, but this relationship is different. This relationship is free and easygoing with no hesitations to just be myself within it. I can speak the same for Tricia, my girlfriend. I guess I just wonder why it is that some friendships go from a place of hugs, handshakes, and genuine down to earth conversation suddenly come to a place of awkwardness and sometimes silence.
I have spent a good bit of time with girlfriend. We have spent time getting to know each other better and have been establishing what I see as a really good relationship founded and centered in Christ. No, we're not perfect, who is, but we both want our relationship to be centered in Him and with that we want to continue our friendships that we've always had, it is very important to both of us. Granted, I understand that some time spent with her more often sometimes leads to others maybe thinking that we've moved on, or we're not interested in doing things that Single folks do, but the funny thing about it all is that we are still single. Plain and simple. And we love spending time with our friends, me with hers and her with mine. She has come to get to know several of my friends as I have with her friends and it has seemed to work out very well in many situations, however, there is the puzzling thing to me that some friends of mine, those whom I really thought would embrace her, and want to get to know her, have not really tried to hardly talk to her. I say all this as sensitively as I can, because I really don't want to offend anyone, but then I guess on the other hand, maybe it could all just be in my mind. Maybe it could all just be my fault; maybe it could be just what's supposed to happen, but for some reason I just can't help but think it shouldn't.
Honestly, it just hurts. And it disappoints me. I know I should not have expectations, but then I wonder how unhealthy my expectations really are in this matter? I see the same thing happening to others, and some of them not even connected to the same realm of friends. It kind of reminds me of something even I've been guilty of in the past when some of my friends have gotten married over the years. I remember being hesitant to call them, or thought they were probably busy doing married or couple things and wouldn't have time or desire to spend time with a single person, like I would be a third wheel or something... that's all just a bunch of bunk if you ask me and I think it just has to be said.
Don't misunderstand any of this. I'm not having a pity party here, far from it really. I'm just curious what is going on? I wonder what is misunderstood, heck I wonder what I'm misunderstanding? If you're reading this and you go to assume that I'm speaking about you, well, don't assume. This is not something that is being addressed to a particular person or group of people, I'm just asking a question. I'm just looking for answers. With wisdom comes understanding, and hence freedom and grace. I'm just searching, that's all, so please forgive me if I have offended, it has not been my intention. Feel free to respond, actually I encourage you to and be anonymous if you want, regardless I'd love some feedback.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Yes, In fact it was...
the best birthday I've ever had. Yeah, been awhile since I've made a post, and I would love to sit down and just type out everything that I've been doing and thinking about over the last month or so, and maybe I will, but wanted to at least update my most previous post about my birthday.
Where do I start? It seemed to of lasted for over a week, which was awesome! Tricia did an awesome job of remembering all kinds of things about me and what I like, which is very special and shows how much she listens to me, even when I ramble. I guess we'll just start on Friday night before my birthday. She had arranged for many of my closest friends to go to dinner at Cocina Superior. It was awesome, and I am so thankful for all those that were able to be there. It was really special to me. Most of all, it was just really great being surrounded by whom I think are my very closest friends, my girlfriend, while enjoying great food and conversation all at one time. Afterwards a few of us went up to the wine loft and hung out for awhile. It was an overall relaxing but very fun evening.
Saturday, Tricia and I just had a spontaneous day. Nothing planned, no agenda, just went out and had breakfast, did a little shopping and looking around and just enjoyed the day together. This is one of our favorite things to do, not much to it, which is great and really emphasizes the time we spend together, continuing to get to know each other better, learning the likes and dislikes, and honestly having a great time all along the way. It is amazing to me how much we laugh together. It is freeing and fun. Anyway, pressing on to the evening...
Tricia had asked me to make myself busy for a few hours while she got things ready for Saturday night...what was she up to? I really had no idea, but it was more incredible that I ever could have imagined. I went and ran some errands around town and really just wasted some time to give her time to do what she needed to do. She finally called me a few hours later and told me to come on over. As I pulled in the drive she stopped me almost at the end of her driveway, weird I thought, but I knew I needed to just go with it.
She told me to close my eyes while she led me down the driveway and through her carport to the back patio of her home. As I opened my eyes, I was amazed to see all that she had done to prepare for my birthday. It was something like out of a movie or something. Here is a pic just to give you an idea...
Candle votives everywhere, and I mean everywhere, she had between 35 and 40 set up around the patio and it was beautiful. Over on the table, she had a stunning arrangement set up for dinner, with candles and flowers set up perfectly. I noticed little strings hanging down from the beams above, each with little tags tied to the ends. On each was written something that Tricia loves about me. There were 34 of them hanging all around. It was amazing because of one, how it actually added to the overall look, and two, because of all the time I know she took to prepare all of this stuff. She later gave me three additional tags with very special messages written on them to tell me about how she felt about me. A total of 37 tags for each year I've been alive and to symbolize my 37th birthday. You can see the tags hanging down in this picture...
Dinner was very special, incredible lasagna from scratch with great garlic toast to go along with it. She put the finishing touches on this perfect dinner with a glass of our favorite wine. The evening was amazing. Just sitting and talking, laughing and enjoying each other. Tricia is so thoughtful and so sweet. Always wanting to serve and do for me, much more than I ever deserve, that's for sure. She gives great gifts too! Another place where I could see clearly just how much she listens to me and makes little mental notes along the way.
So yes, yes it was the best birthday ever! Thank you Tricia for this incredible series of events marking the beginning of another year of my life. Thanks to all my friends who have been there along the way. You have all made an impact in one way or another, whether you realize it or not. I appreciate you all, and am greatful for all those special people in my life. Yea, this is sappy, but who cares? It's my blog and I can be as sappy as I want with it.
Where do I start? It seemed to of lasted for over a week, which was awesome! Tricia did an awesome job of remembering all kinds of things about me and what I like, which is very special and shows how much she listens to me, even when I ramble. I guess we'll just start on Friday night before my birthday. She had arranged for many of my closest friends to go to dinner at Cocina Superior. It was awesome, and I am so thankful for all those that were able to be there. It was really special to me. Most of all, it was just really great being surrounded by whom I think are my very closest friends, my girlfriend, while enjoying great food and conversation all at one time. Afterwards a few of us went up to the wine loft and hung out for awhile. It was an overall relaxing but very fun evening.
Saturday, Tricia and I just had a spontaneous day. Nothing planned, no agenda, just went out and had breakfast, did a little shopping and looking around and just enjoyed the day together. This is one of our favorite things to do, not much to it, which is great and really emphasizes the time we spend together, continuing to get to know each other better, learning the likes and dislikes, and honestly having a great time all along the way. It is amazing to me how much we laugh together. It is freeing and fun. Anyway, pressing on to the evening...
Tricia had asked me to make myself busy for a few hours while she got things ready for Saturday night...what was she up to? I really had no idea, but it was more incredible that I ever could have imagined. I went and ran some errands around town and really just wasted some time to give her time to do what she needed to do. She finally called me a few hours later and told me to come on over. As I pulled in the drive she stopped me almost at the end of her driveway, weird I thought, but I knew I needed to just go with it.
She told me to close my eyes while she led me down the driveway and through her carport to the back patio of her home. As I opened my eyes, I was amazed to see all that she had done to prepare for my birthday. It was something like out of a movie or something. Here is a pic just to give you an idea...
Dinner was very special, incredible lasagna from scratch with great garlic toast to go along with it. She put the finishing touches on this perfect dinner with a glass of our favorite wine. The evening was amazing. Just sitting and talking, laughing and enjoying each other. Tricia is so thoughtful and so sweet. Always wanting to serve and do for me, much more than I ever deserve, that's for sure. She gives great gifts too! Another place where I could see clearly just how much she listens to me and makes little mental notes along the way.
So yes, yes it was the best birthday ever! Thank you Tricia for this incredible series of events marking the beginning of another year of my life. Thanks to all my friends who have been there along the way. You have all made an impact in one way or another, whether you realize it or not. I appreciate you all, and am greatful for all those special people in my life. Yea, this is sappy, but who cares? It's my blog and I can be as sappy as I want with it.
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