Expectations...what gives me the right?

Ever have just one of those days? A day that you just get into a funk and that funk is engrossed with ridiculous expectations and even worse, lies from the evil one that cause you to question or doubt things that you know are true. Why is it that I have expectations? What good does it do me? What right do I have to have expectations? Don't get me wrong, I believe that some expectations can in fact be healthy, however there seem to be a lot more that are not.

Yesterday was this kind of day for me. I just couldn't shake it and the day pretty much spiraled downward I guess until I went to bed last night. My expectations pretty much came to a head yesterday, exposing my sin of selfishness overall but more precisely it was my sinful nature grasping to control people and things around me. It was a mess just to be honest. Not to be gross but I guess it reminded me of a big ole zit on the face...for days its coming, you really don't see it, but you can feel something working its way up beneath the skin, and then suddenly wallah, there it shines, like a bright beacon in the night for everyone to see. Then it burst!

It was all over the place, just messy and ended up being very difficult to work through and clean up. The foothold was was strong and merciless, but I kept pressing on just trying to work through it. Later last night, I went to the Lord in prayer, just confessing to Him my sin of being selfish and having unreasonable expectations. That in the process I hurt someones heart and it was never my intention to do so. I prayed that God would just weed that sin out of my body and mind. I realized that expectations can easily sneak into all facets of my life and when I least suspect it...I know I will stumble and fall, but as the Lord calls me to, I must get back up and brush the dirt off and press on knowing that God's desire was to bring this sin to light so that I could see it with clear eyes. He wasn't mad at me, He loves me and was again showing His incredible graciousness of mercy and love by revealing my sin to me so that I could lay that burden down at His cross.

There's more...this morning, I was a little hesitant about how I would feel after the wreck of the day I had caused yesterday. As I was getting ready, Christ brought to my mind some scripture that is oh so familiar, a couple of verses that I have always loved...Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."

As I arrived at work, I pondered over this scripture for some time. Basically, I was not trusting in my Father, I was not just leaving the circumstances of my life up to Him and simply enjoying life as He sees fit to deliver it. I was making things hard and difficult and for what? No good reason! I further thought about the fact that He calls me to lean on His understanding - NOT mine! After this, I prayed some more in the car this before walking in. Today has been a really good day, more than I hoped for and more than I expected. (get it...expected, duh!) Regardless - I am thankful to God for showing me what He has.