Am I sick, or is it warfare?

Well, been feeling kinda cruddy for the last couple days, running fever, body aches and all that, so I guess I am going to go to the doctor today. I really don't want to go because I don't know that they have something that will just make me better. I hate being sick, however, I know it is probably a good thing because it is the only thing that may slow me down enough to really get some rest. Slept until 10AM this morning, I don't even remember the last time I slept that late, but hey, it felt really good, except for the headache I woke up to.

Weird thing about being sick, for me it usually comes when something is really going good in my life or when the direction or path in which I am heading is exactly where I feel that God is leading. I wonder how many others this happens to? I honestly feel that in most cases this is spiritual warfare. Previously this week I had made some initiating steps towards some things that God has laid on my heart to move into and invest myself. God has been really working through the Holy Spirit to give me some direction in where I need to be involved, where He can most use me and the gifts that He has given me. I love people and honestly over the last couple of years I feel like I have been stagnate and disconnected, but with many thoughts coming about, maybe it was a drawing from the Holy Spirit, I don't know. Anyway, what I do know is that I am now making steps to re-involve myself into life, into ministry, and all with no holds barred. Usually I would say "but" at this point, but no more, there is no "but" in life, I will now press on...fight this fight...get over being sick, and praise God for His protection during this time of being sick. When we are sick, our defenses are down, our desire is diminished, our sinful laziness kicks in and it's almost as if we just take time off not only from work, play, things, but most importantly God. Hence the "but" I mentioned earlier, to say "but" or even think it is to compromise with what we know is right, what we know is best, and ultimately what we know God is prompting us towards. I am excited about the opportunities that God has presented in my life, and I will press on to do this that God has called me to.

Another point to make about this warfare is that it comes in many different ways, not only by being sick but also by distractions and things that come about to derail what He is desiring to do in our lives. I was discussing all of this yesterday with a friend and all the events that have come about over the last month or so. I revealed that I do have a fear of being derailed because often in the past I have been and his response was that now is where I can the true grace of God working, but in a different way, not by going back and fixing those things in the past, but rather in a backwards way. He brought up the book I think "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" and how the author mentions towards the end of the book that work is sometimes done backwards in our lives, meaning that we have experiences in life from the past where we have failed and this in turn ends up being a reminder when some of those very same "decisions" come to face us again today and later tomorrow...all this to say that the grace comes in through this, where we can see and remember how we once handled a situation and how God uses that NOW to allow us to make the right decision, to choose the right path, to take the stand we needed to stand, and to have the courage and strength to do so. He gives us the opportunity all through grace and while it may seem a difficult situation, the results are never regretful.

I don't know if any of this makes sense to whoever may be reading this, but maybe the sickness is clouding my being able to explain it the best way. Maybe I will post again later today or tonight to reiterate my thoughts. I guess we'll see. Have an intentional and fearless day, to do all that God has put you here for, to workout in fear and trembling, His desire for your life, but knowing with all your heart, that He desires your best, He loves you, and You are here in His image.